The 15 Commandments Of Human Behavior by Bob Bly

I think everyone who wants to be a kind and decent human being should adhere to these "15 commandments of human behavior":

1. Don't brag. It makes those less fortunate than you feel bad about themselves. You feed your ego at their expense.

2. Don't give unsolicited advice. People don't like it and anyway, who asked you?

3. Be generous with others. In social situations, always reach to pick up the check first. In your business dealings, make sure the other person comes out a little bit better than you.

4. Be kind to children and animals.

5. Help those in need.

6. You have two ears but only one mouth, so nature is telling you to listen twice as much as you talk.

7. If it's not too late for you to heed this advice, have kids while you are still in your 20s.

8. Spend a lot of time with your kids while they are young and still want to be with you. Once that time is gone, it's gone forever.

9. Keep your mind and imagination active. If nothing else, read a lot of books.

10. Don't waste time and energy being jealous of the rich, successful, powerful, famous, thin, buff, athletic, talented, and good-looking. As Max Ehrmann said, "There will always be those greater and lesser than you." Almost everyone in my gym is younger and fitter than I am. I don't care.

11. Don't avoid going to the doctor because you are either stoic, macho, or afraid. Delaying going to the doctor when you have symptoms could literally kill you, as it did my grandmother and my father.

12. Exercise at minimum 3 hours a week. Three out of ten Americans do not exercise at all. I had a period of a few years when I did not. Terrible.

13. Don't waste too much time with social media. Real life is better.

14. Be humble, not arrogant. Humble people are forgiven if they stumble; arrogant people are not.

15. Be a nice and kind person. Treat others with good manners and respect.

Bob Bly is the author of "World's Best Copywriting Secrets" and has written copy for more than 100 companies including IBM, Boardroom, Medical Economics and AT&T. He is the author of more than 75 books and a columnist for Target Marketing, Early To Rise and The Writer. McGraw-Hill calls him "America's top copywriter".

When It Comes To Setting Goals, Get Real by Bob Bly

Napoleon Hill famously wrote: "Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve."

Earl Nightingale similarly said, "We become what we think about."

This is the biggest load of horse hooey since the Law of Attraction.

Just because you want something doesn't mean you can have or do it.

For instance, today I will start conceiving and believing that I will replace Jeter as the next Yankees captain.

I'll let you know how that goes.

I think NYU professor Tamsin Shaw sees things much more clearly than Hill or Nightingale.

In the New York Review of Books (10/9/14, p. 4), she writes that what we do and become is largely guided by "our internal dispositions and talents, our inborn nature."

In other words, we achieve in areas we are good at, like, and have a natural aptitude and talent for.

The people I know who are successful all pursued activities that they were naturally inclined to do and enjoyed.

Instead of just wishing, believing, and conceiving, ask yourself: what do you like? What are you good at? What do other people say you do well?

And most important of all, what do you absolutely love to do more than anything else?

Next to my family, the greatest plus in my life is that I have a job—writing—that I absolutely love.

I am not the best writer in the world. Far from it. But every day, I work to be the best writer I can be. And it pleases enough people that I make a very handsome living from my writing.

My poor dad lived in the purgatory of having a job he hated. I designed my life so I would not have to do that, though I admired the sacrifice he made to provide for his family.

Fortunately, dad got pleasure not from work but elsewhere: his family, friends, and many hobbies, including bowling, poker, tennis, fishing, and collecting coins and stamps.

Loving work as I do, I do put my family first, but friends are peripheral (my most active friendships are with peers in my profession; personal friends I rarely see) and I never developed any hobbies, because I agree with Noel Coward who said: "Work is more fun than fun."


Bob Bly is the author of "World's Best Copywriting Secrets" and has written copy for more than 100 companies including IBM, Boardroom, Medical Economics and AT&T. He is the author of more than 75 books and a columnist for Target Marketing, Early To Rise and The Writer. McGraw-Hill calls him "America's top copywriter".

What Spiderman Can Teach You About Luck And Success by Bob Bly

In the movie Spiderman III, Flint Marko a.k.a. the Sandman tells his estranged wife, "I am not a bad person; I've just had bad luck."

Some people may think saying such a thing amounts to little more than making excuses.

But Marko did indeed have bad fortune: his young daughter was seriously ill.

Conversely some motivational speakers and self-help writers say that luck should not be a factor in your life or success, and that you are solely responsible for your life as it is.

And years ago, a high-powered executive in a TV commercial said with disdain when an employee wished him luck in an important meeting: "Luck is for rabbits."

To which I say: horse hooey.

Example: At a National Speakers Association meeting where I was also a speaker, I listened to a motivational speaker who said in his talk, "It's not the road; it's the runner."

The audience clapped in appreciation...except me. I sat stone-faced and offended.

I wanted to tell him, but didn't, that what he said was not true.

The more accurate statement would be: "It IS the road AND the runner."

Despite what positive thinkers tell you, luck is a huge factor determining the quality of your life, though certainly not the sole factor.

And luck, by definition, is beyond your control, which means much of the quality of your life (but not all) is beyond your control.

Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

The remedy is to exert control over those things you can in fact control, one of which is your reaction to your luck, bad or good.

W. Mitchell, Epictetus, and others have said words to the effect that "it's not what happens to you; it's how you handle it."

I disagree. I believe it IS what happens to you AND how you handle it.

If you have bad luck and are not handling it well, the quality of your life will suffer even more.

And maybe you want to seek some help, be it a psychotherapist, anti-depressants, a support group, a coach, or whatever.

But do not blame yourself or punish yourself because you feel you are not coping well.

You are doing the best you can at this time under the circumstances.

I urge you to seek the help I just mentioned so you can gradually do and feel better and better.

By the way, you should ruthlessly prune from your life anyone who criticizes the way you are coping and says they could do better if they were in your shoes.

You know and I know they most likely could not.

Remember, it's easy to criticize. But no one knows what you are facing or how difficult it is to handle unless they have been through the exact same thing. And 99.99% of people have not.

I close by quoting Stephen King from his new novel Mr. Mercedes: "Life is a crap carnival with shit prizes."

Bob Bly is the author of "World's Best Copywriting Secrets" and has written copy for more than 100 companies including IBM, Boardroom, Medical Economics and AT&T. He is the author of more than 75 books and a columnist for Target Marketing, Early To Rise and The Writer. McGraw-Hill calls him "America's top copywriter".